I believe saw Vishnu. Please Read.

Hello all... So far when I share this, people do not believe me.

I am American and we generally do not believe in these things so for me to share would usually make me feel like I've gone insane.

I would not lie about something like this however, I would not want to insult anyone by doing so.

Years ago (about 8) I was in my living room one day.

I suddenly felt very strange. I felt "magical". Suddenly a blue being appeared sitting but floating in the air. It was like there was a vortex of energy around the being. It had many arms, many legs, many .. everything.

It was holding various objects but what really caught my eye was a giant golden disc behind it. It had many teeth on the outside and on it were many symbols that I did not understand and I do not think I could replicate.

The being looked very much like my avatar on here. Vishvarupa?

The only difference was He was sitting with His legs crossed, floating in the air. It was like He warped space/time around him. The room even shook and everything bent in towards Him like it was going to collapse.

He stared at me for a few seconds. I stood there in fear because I had no idea what was happening. I thought at first He was going to kill me but then I realized that was not going to happen.

I stood there in awe just staring at Him as He stared back at me. Then He disappeared and everything went back to normal - except for me. I just felt "magical" for the rest of the day. I do not know how to explain it. It was an amazing feeling.

Since then it is like I am different. The experience literally changed who I am. All of the bad things I used to do just seemed stupid and I felt like I should be trying to spread love and happiness. I know it sounds lame but, it's true.

This experience was with my eyes open. I was not meditating or anything.

I worried I was losing my mind. At that time I knew absolutely nothing about Hinduism or anything like Vishnu. To be honest, I still don't know much.

I did a lot of searching online and finally found Vishnu. He is the only deity that matches the description, except for maybe Narayana whom I think matches even more. I do not understand enough about Hinduism to guess any further.

Then about 4 years ago I was camping. Out of nowhere an old man appeared and slowly walked up to me. He told me basically to focus on my spiritual self. While he was around, time stood still. Our torches did not flicker, the water did not flow.

Once again I thought I was crazy. Once I woke up in the morning however I found on the ground a perfect circle of flattened weeds where the man appeared and from that circle was a path in the weeds exactly how he walked to me.

I did not want to believe any of this was real but for some reason over the past year I have accepted it. The more I read about Hinduism and alike, the less crazy I feel.

I do not know exactly why I am sharing this. I feel like these were very special and nobody believes me so I cannot talk to anyone about it where I live. Again, I live in the USA so anyone that is familiar with it will know that in this country people think you're crazy if you talk about such things.

I really want to see Him again. I feel this insane drive to see Him again. I do not know why. I just really want to see again, this time not being afraid. Instead, I would respect Him and his power, not fear.

I read a lot online of different mantras/meditations/etc. The problem is there are A LOT of con artists out there that try to fool people. I do not know what is real and what is made up by some random man. I don't even trust the translations of the Texts to be accurate in english.

Please be gentle. This was hard to share. I need to figure out what to do next. I know there is something - I can feel it - but I do not know what it is.

 

Thank you

It's not so much the lack of belief that has me sharing this. I mostly mentioned that because I cannot talk to people around my location because they won't believe anything related to Hinduism or alike, it's all Christians/Catholics. I used to go to church around here but it never felt right to me.

I feel like I should be learning more. At the same time it seems learning more is almost useless because the general beliefs (depending on various groups from what I read) essentially line up with what I felt anyway - all is one. The little I understand seems to match what I feel inside.

I still feel like it would be nice to learn more though, so I could maybe share/word things in a way that people here could understand.

Like I said, I'm not completely sure why I shared this here. Obviously it's more open to these things so that's why THIS PLACE but why I posted it, I guess I'm looking.
I'd like to read more but not sure where to start. I've read some of the epics but they do not appeal to me.

Really to summarize: I feel like if I don't learn [something] and share, I am insulting Him/everything. It is really hard to explain because I don't know what that something is.

I do plan on flying to India to actually study/learn in the future but currently I've been starting up a software/programming company and I do not see having the time for a couple years.
I wish I could just focus on that and not business but realistically in this world, you need money to get around.

Thank you for your reply.