Looking for help/guidance in Hinduism

Discussion in 'Hinduism' started by Phoenixbinder, Apr 3, 2016.

  1. Phoenixbinder

    Phoenixbinder New Member


    In order to not bore everyone I'm going to try and be as concise as possible.

    Please, keep in mind that I know nothing about Hinduism and I don't mean to be disrespectful.

    Not long ago I came to the conclusion that conscious existence and my ego were illusions and was compelled to dissolve the ego. Not long after dedicating myself to that task I had a dream where I was being chased by a demon. Just when the demon was about to overtake me a goat with a black Hindu statue on it's back came from nowhere and the demon ran in fear. As the goat was leaving I said over and over, "Thank you, Kali.", to which I heard a female voice reply, "You're welcome."

    I thought me thanking Kali was strange as I had only ever heard of Kali once and thought she was the Hindu goddess of destruction. I googled Kali the next morning and the first thing I read was, " The Encyclopedia Britannica is grossly mistaken in the following quote, "Major Hindu goddess whose iconography, cult, and mythology commonly associate her with death, sexuality, violence, and, paradoxically in some of her later historical appearances, motherly love."

    It is partly correct to say Kali is a goddess of death but She brings the death of the ego as the illusory self-centered view of reality. Nowhere in the Hindu stories is She seen killing anything but demons...

    As you can imagine, I was taken aback. The chances are astronomical that I would unconsciously choose Kali, whom I know absolutely nothing about, and use her in the proper context in a dream. If I were to ever have evidence in favor of believing in the existence of a God/Goddess that dream would be it, not that I do. I've taken the dream as a sign of sorts; not to start blindly following the Hindu religion, but as a confirmation that I've come to the correct conclusion about my ego and maybe a suggestion to "Look here." as it applies to Hinduism or at least how the Hindus view and deal with reality and ego death.

    I really don't know what I'm looking for or where to start. Can any of you point me in a direction you think might help me, such as books, videos, ect...?

    Thank you.
  2. Senthil

    Senthil Active Member Staff Member

    Good question,

    Lots of Hindu books will teach you philosophically, but it's tricky, because book knowledge tends to add to the ego, rather than erase it. 'Now I know more' will be the refrain. So one path is to read about it, but it may not work. Another method is to focus on selfless service, doing things for others without thought of reward. This is more mental exercise, just not ever thinking, 'What's in it for me?'

    Yet another strategy is to focus on bhakti ... to prostrate full out to God, and pray honestly for help. This needs a certain humility to begin with, the idea that God knows more than you, that our wise elders are wiser than us, etc. One specific prayer Hindus, especially in the South Indian mystical traditions is to break a coconut. You hold a coconut, put your thoughts onto it about ego, then you throw it really hard on the ground or a stone. It is a prayer for cracking the ego, the coconut shell representing the physical skull.

    All this is difficult, not that easy, as there are many catch-22s. Ego, in and of itself isn't all that bad. Ego, more by definition, is just the identification you have with the person, of this lifetime, the person who you are, the name, the physical body, the personality. What people generally mean when they say they want to work on their ego, is that they want to work on their pride. Look at the sentence ... 'I want to work on my ego,'. Most people if asked to point out the word 'ego' in that sentence would simple point to 'ego'. But if you read between the lines, you'd point to 'I' and 'my'. Those two words are the ego.

    So rather than identify that way, the devotee, worker on himself through Hinduism, tries to at least identify himself a s a soul, temporarily in a physical body with an ego. On an even deeper level, he identifies a s part of God, a molecule of God, part and parcel of all that exists, not-separate.

    Sorry for the rant. Best wishes on your sojourn. I'd encourage a visit to a Hindu temple to reflect before any book study. Get to know some people there, and volunteer to do some work.
    3 people like this.
  3. answering hindu

    answering hindu New Member

    Dreams are result of your sub-conscious mind and has some meanings.
    Can i know the timing of your dreams ?
    There is one god with different names and different powers. what i think of Goddess kali is that, its some power of supreme god and its primary role in humans is to kill the demon's inbetween.
    I think This is Lucky indication for You (best of luck if it is).
    Its very good sign to see Kaali maa (goddess ) in your dream.
    As per Hindu history, her power destroys negative people, now if the dream is true, it is very much sure that, Kali Maa's power will also destroy your negativity & hidden enemies.

    There is huge nexus of paid funding to not let people see true Hinduism, but like water is needed for survival sanatana dharma is also needed for upliftment of mankind. People follow or convert to Hinduism wherein Hinduism have never laid any stress on conversions rather it has never been part of Hinduism.
    First time when i searched for "Hindu forum" in google few months back i found some porn forum but later on i found this forum and I am in it now, but since i was hindu i had fair bit of idea about Hinduism but majority of people in west doesn't have any idea.
    This forum is bit dead in its approach and trying to make it live and engaging by atleast giving this website visit once in 1-2 days.
    I would suggest you to go for only sanskriti, hindusim today website or this forum whenever you wish to ask anything.

    For dreams i could find these three links in the forum


    I am searching for a video which had full explanation of dreams , how they occur and why they occur, once i have that i will post it here ....

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2016
    3 people like this.
  4. Phoenixbinder

    Phoenixbinder New Member

    This post may be a bit long as I'm going to have to give more information about my situation in order to clarify. My situation is very difficult for me to articulate.

    Basically, when I said I'd come to the conclusion that reality as I know it and my ego were illusions, I didn't come to that conclusion logically. I can only describe how I got to the point where I reached that conclusion as an 'internal pull', intuition if you like. It was like a knowing or a feeling that I can only describe as communication from my soul/God. Up until that point it was as if I had been ignoring it and focusing only on the 'I' of the ego; what 'I' wanted out of life, and because of that I felt extreme mental and emotional pain and depression. When the pain got so bad that it became unbearable I finally started focusing on the pain/feeling with the intent of listening to what it was trying to tell me (humbling myself/ego to it). That's when I heard what it was trying to communicate for all that time (years).

    What I experienced was an undeniable 'knowing' that everything I was experiencing and the 'I' that is me/ego wasn't real, it's all a distraction, a trap for my soul that is a small piece of God. I don't mean God in any religious context; I mean God as in true reality. My 'soul' is a small piece of a lager 'soul' that is also my 'soul'. It is like the part of the 'soul' my ego/consciousness is connected to is a drop of water and the larger 'soul' it came from, or is connected to, is the ocean. The two 'souls' are not different at all in makeup and are in fact the same entity only split in two for lack of a better description. The bigger piece feels like it's 'in it's place' 'doing what it's supposed to be doing' and the smaller piece feels like it's trying to rejoin the bigger piece but is being distracted or trapped by an illusion that is reality and 'me' which is ego.

    So, that's when I understood what the ego was. I also understood that 'me the soul' is attached in some way to 'me the ego' and only by dissolving 'me the ego' can 'me the soul' reconnect with or turn back to the rest of the Soul or God if you like. It wasn't long after I understood that and dedicated myself to the work that I had the dream. I took the meaning of the dream as the Demon (the ego/reality) as trying to catch and suppress 'me the soul' and Kali (The larger part of 'me the soul'/God) as lending help so the ego can be dissolved and the two parts of 'me the soul' can be reunited or the equivalent of that. Also, considering that I knew NOTHING about Hinduism or Kali and yet she appeared in the proper context I took that as a sign that I might need to look into Hinduism, at least as it concerns dissolving the ego.

    I should also mention that when I understood, accepted, and dedicated myself to dissolving the ego that all the pain and depression disappeared. It's not that I'm happy (as in I the ego), I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I just am. It's difficult to articulate.

    Also, as you mentioned, after my revelation I also understood that 'me the ego' is powerless and can do nothing, as it is nothing. I understood that the only thing 'me the ego' can do is to understand it's place and not get in the way of the re-connection, or whatever it is, of the two parts of the soul.

    So, with all that in mind, please understand that I (speaking as the ego) really don't know where I am or what I'm doing; I'm only trying to obey and get out of the way of 'me the soul', and I thought I'd look into Hinduism and ego dissolution.
  5. Phoenixbinder

    Phoenixbinder New Member

    Thank you for your reply.

    By 'timing of my dreams' what do you mean? The date I had the dream? The time between dedicating myself and the dream?

    When you suggest sanskriti and hinduism today are you referring to specific websites? I'm sorry, I don't understand.

    Also, I posted a reply to Senthil you may want to ready for better understanding of my situation.
  6. Phoenixbinder

    Phoenixbinder New Member

    Thank you so much!
  7. Senthil

    Senthil Active Member Staff Member

    You're welcome, and all the best on the sojourn. It'd be nice to hear of some follow-up on occasion. I'm sorry you didn't get more responses.
    3 people like this.
  8. Phoenixbinder

    Phoenixbinder New Member

    Small update. I've picked up a bit of Hindu terminology and will use it in order to be as clear as possible. I apologize if I use it incorrectly, and if that's the case, please, feel free to correct me.

    I've downloaded but haven't started reading the Master Course yet. I have, however, been following the 'bread crumbs' I've discovered around the internet and have found very intriguing and exciting things. I've discovered Advaita Vedanta, and it describes my inner feelings and intuitions perfectly. It's now clear to me, without a doubt, that the realizations I've come to and discussed earlier in this thread is Atman overcoming Avidya and recognizing that it is Brahman. I also completely believe that the dream I had about Kali was a communication from the part of Atman that understands it's Brahman to the part of Atman that's part of the ego in order to guide the ego/Atman to Advaita Vedanta or just Hinduism in general.

    I have a strong feeling that exploring Hinduism is going to help me achieve Moksha (By 'me' I mean me as Atman that is attached to ego). I understand that in the end Hinduism won't be any sort of savior or salvation and I as the ego can do nothing but forgo my desires and attachments and submit to my intuition which is Atman 'remembering' that it's Brahman. (All of what I'm saying wasn't arrived at logically; this is me expressing what my intuition has already told me, only now have I found the proper vocabulary to express my intuition.)

    The last bit of trouble I'm having, that I'm hoping I'll find help with in my studies, is a sense of being stuck between the stages of Moksha. I read a blog post about the 5 stages One goes through to achieve Moksha. The first stage being birth where One exists, naturally, in a state of pure bliss or Brahman. The second stage is where the person forgets they're Brahman due to experiencing society ect... and takes on the illusion of separateness from Brahman. The third stage is where a person delves deeper into God and begins serious spiritual study. The fourth stage is where the person realizes they are Brahman, 'I' and body drop away, and they delve into solitude and become wandering monks or Swamis, but they are still not complete. Lastly, stage five is where the cycle is complete and One 'returns' to Brahman.

    Currently, I'm stuck between stages three and four. It's an extremely uncomfortable state. I can only compare it to being in labor. I feel like I'm in labor and trying to give birth to a new Self but the baby is stuck in the birth-canal and I can't complete the delivery. I'm not sure if the old Self has to die (metaphorically) in order to give birth to the new Self or I only have to let go of something, for some reason, I'm holding onto. Either way it's an agonizing state. I only hope Avidya is cleared enough so I can intuit the answer and move forward with Moksha.

    Anyway, that's all for now and I can't tell you how grateful I am for all the help you've given me. Feel free to correct and educate me or point me in any directions you feel would be of benifit. I'll update this thread as I go along.
  9. Senthil

    Senthil Active Member Staff Member

    In the west, because of the pervasive belief that we only get one chance, seekers tend to start somewhere near the end of the path, rather than at the beginning. Without a proper foundation, a building will crumble. So there is a great deal of impatience involved. 'I want moksha and I want it now!" It's not even something you get.

    Conversely, in the east there is total patience, because of the all-pervasive belief in reincarnation. The devotee, permeated by a dharmic culture, takes slow and steady steps, realising that moksha is inevitable anyway, and views the soul's progress in lifetimes, not years.

    Advaita Vedanta's western versions are renamed neo-Advaita by the traditionalists, and are frowned upon. It has become an ego-exercise about great claims, not humble slow transformation so that no new karmas are created.

    I have never heard of these 5 stages of moksha until now. Stages on the path, perhaps. By definition, moksha is the by-product of something else, and simply means release from the cycle. That something else is Self-realisation, or in Sanskrit, nirvikalpa samadhi.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2016
  10. Phoenixbinder

    Phoenixbinder New Member

    I understand what you're saying. I think there's a bit of a miscommunication on my part.

    Firstly, I confused Moksha as Self-realization/fully understanding I am God. I apologize for that.

    Secondly, when I talk about achieving Self-realization and wanting to delve deeper into Advaita Vendata I'm not approaching it as something I've chosen or want; I'm approaching it from a place of recognition. The intuition and feelings I've been experiencing have shaped my thoughts and beliefs and I see them mirrored or exactly expressed in the definition of Self-realization and possibly Advaita Vedanta. I don't plan on necessarily following Advaita Vedanta; what I'm doing right now, as I have done in the past with my entire spiritual life, is listen to and follow only what feels correct internally and leave the rest behind.

    My spirituality is everything I am. It comes naturally to me; I was born to it like a fish to water or, more accurately, like a slave to a master . I don't care about money, I don't care about sex, I don't care about power, ect... I have within me a very strong internal 'pull' and 'push' that drives me forward on a path that I have no control over. It's like an instinct that I MUST follow at the cost of everything else. It's excruciating more often than not as I've been stubborn and resisted it in the past only to be broken my it's force. It's best described, in a spiritual context, as God commanding me; it's impossible to ignore or defy and I'm nothing without it.

    I started my journey at the age of 12 but the feelings were there ever since is was very young. I came to the conclusion that my spiritual journey will never end, even if I achieve full Self-realization as Brahman/God. When that happens I have no idea what will come but I'd be willing to wager there will never be stopping point. And I don't just mean in this life; I mean eternally in every form that Brahman/God takes. I've surrendered to the fact that Brahman/God/I am eternal change/movement and I have no choice but to follow the impulse that has and will always drive me forward on this never-ending circular path.
  11. Senthil

    Senthil Active Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the clarification.

    In Saiva Siddhanta, the end point is no different than that in Advaita Vedanta. They are not in conflict. The difference in approach is how we get there. So the Siddhanta part outlines the road. Selfless service, humble bhakti, then eventually raja yoga (real meditation) are the steps to samadhi. (I do use this as synonymous with Self-Realisation, and most certainly intuition over intellect is the guiding factor. In my current lifetime on this planet, I've done a lot of unreasonable things, totally based on intuition. It's never been wrong, as far as I can tell. My 'introduction to Hinduism' was seeing a Nararaja statue in a shop, and spending nearly all my money to buy it. Only later did I discover that all this stuff I had come to beliebve had a name and philosophy attached to it. So we certainly have similarities.

    You are also correct that Self-realisation isn't the end. (I don't know actually, just regurgitation here.) We do believe in an ultimate 'stopping point called Mahapralaya, or 'great dissolution' ., but that's everybody, and everything. Siva withdraws it all into Himself.

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2016
  12. answering hindu

    answering hindu New Member

    I mean as far as i know the dreams that come early in the morning tend to come true in physical life, there are other aspects related to dreams as well.
    sanskriti and Hinduism today are Hinduism centric websites.


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